When Ali asked herself why she was spending so much time with a man who was the complete opposite of her boyfriend, the answer hit her like a ton of bricks: Her boyfriend was so busy with his career, he really wasn’t making time for her. However, you just might come up with a real issue hidden in your answer. The answer to your flirting can be as simple as, “It’s just fun, that’s all.” And the crush can stay that way as long as the sexy times are all just between your ears. If you find yourself getting swept away in attraction, ask yourself: Why do I find myself fantasizing about this person? What need is this crush filling for me? kind of stems from that.”Mike’s self-awareness is key, according to Dr. “My wife is eight months pregnant, and there is some sexual frustration on my end. That’s a part of their commitment that’s manifesting itself and reminding them, ‘Wait a second you have this other going on,’” says Tim Loving, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin.But YouBeauty Relationship Expert Dave Sbarra, Ph.D., draws the line when the fantasy that exists in your head starts to manifest itself in your behavior-from going out of your way to rearrange your plans to see this person to an actual act of physical infidelity.įor Mike, cheating on his wife isn’t an option. “Having a little guilt probably isn’t a bad thing. “I have a pregnant wife at home and here I am looking at college interns and I’m like, ‘Wow, they’re pretty hot!’ It makes me feel guilty,” he confesses.But the question is: Did these people in committed relationships cross the line just by having a crush? He admits he enjoys their compliments at work, even though his much younger coworkers are making him feel like a dirty old man. “I had a crush on him to the point where I felt like, ‘Oh my gawd, I feel guilty about this!’” Ali recalls.Mike, 41, has caught himself starting to have sex dreams about the 20-something interns in his office. Although she never acted on it, the thought did occur to her. They went out to lunch and happy hour drinks together where they shared secrets, inside jokes and most of all, a mutual attraction. This hottie bright spot in your day can have a dark side-guilt.Ali,* 29, who had been living with her then-boyfriend of three years, found herself constantly flirting with a freelancer at her office. Swami points out.So, it’s not all sunshine. You will! The question is: What do you do with that attraction?” Dr. After all, “You can’t expect that because you’re in a relationship that you won’t find other people attractive. With sweet incentives from sugar-coated compliments to eye candy, it’s no wonder you might find yourself getting your flirt on-even if you’re in a committed relationship.
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